mac's comfort zone

e m P t Y

Tuesday, May 30, 2006 ( 21:26 )

it's a fait accompli that i'm becoming more and more domestic - did a whirl of vacuuming around the apartment, gave the toilet a douse, then headed out to pay the utilities and phone bills, picked up my air ticket, and tardily went for a whooping mega grocery shopping galore. I had to lug back 8 packages, and throw in FOUR streets along with them, mind you. my hands are killing me now and i broke out a sweat even in the gusty weather. my fervent intent on going for BodyJam this evening in uni campus is thus brutally thrashed by the day's eventful hap. bet i had burnt more calories than a 45 minutes express dynamic combination class anyway.

those home economics programmes during high school days have finally paid their dues during my stay in melbourne. lots of stuff to whip up for dinner tonight; i'm almost spoilt for choice. all these should tide me well over the exam period. my instant meals' turf is stocked to the fringe and my fridge is bursting with uncooked chow. dear, you oughta be proud of me. *beams*

anyway, between all that "janitor" work, the only thing that's missing is just picking up the laundry from the dry cleaners, and giving the house canine a good flea wash (neither of each I have any to worry about currently), so as to attest myself a qualified home-maker. *LOL* I wonder if I'll be those typical modern housewives that live by lists in the future; leading a routinary life like a September loose-leaf binder - neatly slotted and tabbed with everything in place.. "pick up the children from school at 6, fight through the rush hour to make it home by 7 to prepare dinner, monitor the kids' homework and check on their spelling, call and postpone junior's tuition session on sunday due to a last minute family gathering - my mum is good at springing on such stuff; she has the memory of a fish, but i still love her!, and buy something for the upcoming wedding anniversary etc etc..." they never seem to stop, do they? grumble grumble... geez.. and to think i'm looking forward to the deemed mid-life crisis. screaming baloney, i must be nuts! haha..

caught an ad on TV yesterday night that was promoting a funeral insurance premium. you pay A$2.77 a week that will help settle your future incurred funeral costs upon your demise, an estimated amount of A$5K. sounds like a pretty decent deal? it gets better: it comes with a 30-day money back guarantee. ???!!! *scratches head* hello, am i missing something in there?!

i'm having a crux working on my 3000 word essay which is due this friday. the chronicles of narnia is a well-deserved distraction and hindrance. I'm on to the 5th book in the impressive volume now, and i'm guilelessly hooked. if "fantasy genre and epic battles between the good and evil" are your cup of tea, then do, go get yourself enmeshed in this fictional world and be flabbergasted by its' scope of "magical meets reality" tales. In add: there's a warrant why the kids had to grow up in Narnia, only to return to the wardrobe as if time had freezed and stood still. want to know why?

I'm not gonna kiss and tell!

Saturday, May 27, 2006 ( 21:41 )

this week has been stupendous!

wednesday marked the last day of my clinical placement, and friday - the omega of semester one. mugged over the last few days for a presentation and thence, didn't had the time to "pen" down my thoughts. but i did reap what i had sowed; got a 9 out of 10. yippie!

jo's here! yes, again! came over with andrea n a few other fellow uni mates for their post graduation vacation. they went for a brief weekend escape to the Great Ocean Road to see the 12 minus ? apostles ( i don't know how many are left after all the erosion and weather abuse) and I sooooooo wanted to join the little get-away club as well. Duties call; i obviously had to forgo the trip since i had my presentation on the day they were leaving.

But I did have something planned up my sleeve in equivalence that evening. I went for my first footy at MCG (melbourne cricket ground)! collingwood was playing against the western bulldogs and the experience was clearly exhilarating.. chien gave me a play by play in the midst of his occasional friendly banter with Sam and i was soon rooting for our team and up on my feet, brimful of ale. just envisage this: there were 67,920 spectators in the stands and the atmosphere was simply blaring with fanaticism and ecstasy. it was a finger-biting, nerve-wrecking game as the teams were intially playing goal for goal but we soon nailed the opponent in the 3rd quarter and practically ate the doggies even before the 4th ended. one word to describe it all - sensational!

Tuesday, May 23, 2006 ( 23:33 )

"i.am.so.pissed.with.you. u just sat there and look pretty the entire day, bitching about a break in your perfectly manicured hands and not contributing any input deemed fit from you as a registered div 1 nurse. doesn't team effort mean anything to u at all? do not take advantage of me just because i'm a student once again! i'm not suppose to cover your ass for you! have you got no sense of self responsiblity? don't you even feel the least bit of shame when i'm buzzing around like a busy bee while you sat there sipping your gourmet tea and flipping thru 'Women's Weekly'?! i'm utterly disgusted by you. you put the word "preceptorship" down the dumps just like that - *snaps*. you should be abashed."

on a happier note, i got my summative assessment feedback today. scored full marks for this entire 7 weeks of clinical placement. woo hoo! my hard work has paid off. *jumps for joy* at least i have some justification for all those pre-dawn-breaking-wake-ups now. =)

just saw a video filmed by my best friend who recently visited HK Disneyland. she's practically their ambassador now; gave me a full compendium and couldn't stop raving about the wonders. i am awed by the lofty and majestic layout and the fireworks were simply far out. guess a trip to HK ain't complete without a visit to the esteemed landmark now.

marc finally attained his new found freedom status as a full phledged civilian today. reflecting back, it's amazing how time has scurried by. i'm almost through with one semester in melb. just hope i won't have to hop over to sydney next year to pursue my honours. PSC, are u reading this?! let me perdure the course in NUS instead please!

it's a sign. I saw 5 Minis in a fraction of 20 minutes today. dear, i'm coming home.

Sunday, May 21, 2006 ( 20:21 )

i can't believe how much i had slept during this weekend. my biological clock's totally screwed up now. oh well, the downy quilt was a mega motivator to stay toasty in bed.. so, it's official. homo sapiens can hibernate too.

Saturday, May 20, 2006 ( 05:17 )

it's freakin 5am here, but tonight's events were simply too rad to go to bed without joting them down. we had a buffet dinner at Crown Promenade, in this restuarant named "Mesh". the dinner comprised of a main course; scrumptious choice of either lamb chops, salmon, sirloin steak, ribeye, or chicken, and everyone has 3 drinks each on the house; choosing between red/white wine, beer/light beer or a soft drink. there is also free flow of bread roll, nachos with salmon caviar and other dips, oysters, prawns, salad, pasta and palatable deserts including ice-cream and sorbet. OMG, everything was just simply divine, needless to say, especially the oysters and the prawns. I must have had at least a dozen of each.. or maybe close to two in fact! LOL...

Headed down to The Loft, was glad I bumped into wx and dan at the entrance. it's been so long since i last saw them! (kel, wru?!) The club was vastly packed tonight, the dance floor was a mad mess but music was temperately alright. Took some photos (which i can't upload them now, since i left my camera with chien.. along with my stalk of pretty white rose!), had a few drinks and went on to the cake-cutting session. janine and lin simply do not look like sisters, let alone being twins.. but they are, in cert, a couple of lovely, awesome dolls which i plainly adore! overall, it was a remarkable party, and as usual, the birthday victims departed the club after chucking.

i'm dozing off. but JM's still not home. i'm waiting... waiting... zzzzzzzzzz....

Friday, May 19, 2006 ( 15:11 )

i finally understood and realised what happened 8 months back... i sincerely beg to differ about the saying that goes "better late than never".. i would rather not know becos it's all too late now.. sometimes it's so much better to be kept in the dark... and be oblivious. then i wouldn't be feeling the shitty way i am now.......

i'm so sorry... but trust me, time will heal all wounds... it will, eventually, even if it's gonna take forever...

Thursday, May 18, 2006 ( 19:15 )

written in retrospective:
i chanced upon my first stillbirth on tuesday. boy, was i stricken and affected. this patient of mine has been in and out of the hospital umpteen times, for high blood pressure, which can get dangerous when one's bearing a child.. so she had to be kept in for observation. the fetus had intra-uterine growth retardation, a mere 350gms for a 28-weeker (that's really really small). not knowing the gender, the baby was designated both the intended names for each sex. came across the deed, the death cert, the memorial mourn, complete with a planned funeral service and the works. i was just so griefed by it. i managed to catch sight of the baby too, still wrapped up in a yellow teddy-bear blanket, lying in the crib, occasionally being cuddled by the mother and the granny. the features were all fully formed; the eyes, the itty bitty nose and the prettiest lips.. and get this, they keep the baby in the pathology fridge after several hours of bonding, just so the fetus will not putrefy and takes the child out again when they want to nestle further. how more heart-constricting can things get? sigh... the family was very brave though, and demonstrated good support network. sincerely hope they'll make it through this ordeal soon. they have to, life has to go on; that's what the father told me.. and how true.

all that happened just dawned on me whether am i choosing the correct specialisation. but it is without a doubt that a healthcare professional will definitely meet with demises in any discipline (my friend had 2 suicidal cases in the ward within a month; her patients jumped to their death). i just wish i'll be ready then, to meet with this issue that is supposedly deemed "part and parcel of LIFE". how ironic..

it's stupefying how technology had progressed. brought my patient down for a CT scan (a 3-D X-ray) on wednesday, and i'm simply awed by the million dollar machine. a jaw-dropper definitely, it looks at everything in just a few minutes. i had seen similar procedures back in singapore, perhaps even more wondrous ones, but i guess i was taking all that for granted. maybe it was bcos i didn't give much thought then, and only begin to appreciate all these more now.

another patient of mine didn't receive good news about her prognosis later part of the day. cancer cells were suspected, and when i went in to see her, she started crying. it made me thought about my dad and my mum back then. i was doubtlessly too young, and hence can't really recall much at all. I pondered over how my parents reacted when they got the bad news. did my mum cry or was she brave and did not shed a single tear? as for daddy, i noe he must have been shattered. a whole string of memories started pouring; i vividly remember my dad juggling between work and taking care of the family. he was very strong, emotionally and psychologically. i made a silent promise to myself to care for him no matter what, and make sure he'll spend his old age comfortably. i miss u dad.. how u always use to pat my head and smile at me even till now.. intuitively, i may have grown, but i know deep down, i'll always be your little girl, the one you brought up single-handedly. am glad i visited mummy's grave with you, Shanz and JM during easter for her death anniversary. will get her a new windmill when we drop by next time.

enough of the melancholic issues. i went for a big grocery shopping spree after work yesterday. got off early as i didn't go for lunch. bought so much stuff to last me probably till exams that my fridge's practically bursting. it's janine's and lynn's birthday tomorrow, and i got their presents as well. cooked chicken rice for dinner, delicous! did a bit of work and caught some dvds - bring it on again was mediocre, cheaper by the dozen was heart-warming; preferred part 2 though, which i previously caught on the plane.

today's thursday, weekend's almost here! started school at 1300hrs, but dropped by school, twice, to book my presentation topic in the morning. as usual, the lectures were dry and full of information to be digested. urgh.. caught the emperor's groove (funny!) when i came back and returned the dvds by 1900hrs. had hotdog bun and salad for dinner; sumptuous! chien just drop me a message; will be having dinner together, then heading down The Loft at around tenish tomorrow night for the girls' party. i'm sure it'll be a blast!

monday is over...

Monday, May 15, 2006 ( 20:57 )

fell sick earlier on.. (due to monday blues?) had a little temp but thanks to "kodomo cooling adhesive", i'm all good to go now. still, i was pretty much a walking zombie in the ward today. didn't sleep before heading to the hospital at all. it was lucky the workload ain't that terrible. it never really is, actually.. in comparison to singapore, i must say i'm rather relaxed. and the extra incentive of being a student once again helps alot! the nurse to patient ratio here is like 1:5, whereas in singapore is actually 1:12! drastic jump, i know! tell me about it.. and there's so much less duties covered by a registered nurse here, the job scope is de facto, simpler and less taxing. no wonder so many people yearn to hop over and migrate to australia to work.. not to mention the bigger and souped-up salary!

had a total of 4 post-operative patients today. the half-hourly observations almost drove me insane. it's practically one after another and after you're done with the last, it's back to the first again. sorta reminded me of the likes of the feeding regime in special care nursery previously. arh, i miss those adorable babies.. and how you can cuddle them, so small in your hands and babble baby talk. but i'm stil unsure about which discipline i should specialise in. it's definitely either midwifery, neonatal or paediatrics. will be trying my hands at emergency as my elective module later in semester 2. it's quite intriguing and you must really be on your toes constantly but i guess it should be wholly challenging.

cooked pasta for dinner tonight. the penne got too soft but it was still a pretty decent meal though. intend to get bananas tomorrow but i heard the prices are really hitting off the roof - A$12 for a kg, credits to Cyclone Larry! *flops* there goes my daily supply of potassium. gee, i wondered by the environmentalists suddenly decide to name natural disasters after a male when all along, for the longest running time in history, it had always been christianed after a girl. a change in gender superior management and now is payback time? LOL..

my first post!

Sunday, May 14, 2006 ( 21:11 )

ok ok.. i know.. what i'm actually doing is so 2002. i can almost hear everyone going "germac, you are so passe!" seriously, i can't really say why i've decided to start up a blog. i figured it should do me some good while i'm alone here in melbourne.. and i can start pouring things out when i get super stressed up with work or assignments or exams! and perhaps let it be a form of memorabilia when i get old.. *grins* like i know if i can still access the internet when i'm all old and haggled and wrinkled, probably even donning tremored hands due to Parkinsons. (how am i suppose to type then???)

why did i come up with this blog address and title? labyrinth is define as "an intricate structure of interconnecting passages through which is difficult to find one's way". dun u find how sometimes we are just walking round and round a maze, never getting to a final destination in life? and to make matters worse, the walls are constantly changing!! (think harry potter and the goblet of fire: challenge 3). so you never know if you had ever been here or is it all jus a kinda deja vu.. and to make things even lousier, you are, sigh... most of the time, alone.. solo, companionless, forlorn. hence, it's cardinal to find an area of your own comfort zone, so speak the title now. think of it as a pit stop, not those u find on the F1 race tracks, but instead, made of cushiony hassocks and lots of chocolates! hahaha...

today's sunday.. damn.. the weekend's over way too soon. gotta get up at 5.30am and go to work. it's actually not that bad, it's just the getting up i hate. and it's freaking cold now, even though it's only autumn. brrr, can't imagine what it'll be like when winter really hits us. and i'll be having exams then! *grumbles* stress and cold is not an equation!

it's mothers' day today! called my mum at 1am (sg time) yesterday and oops, she was actually gonna sleep soon. she said she had gotten the card i had sent on wednesday (made it in time!) and am very pleased with the gift me and my sisters got for her - a pair of gucci shades! she lost hers during CNY, so leanne figured it'll be good to get her another one. she adores it. i love u mum! and oh, how i miss ur chicken soup with lots of carrots and potato. *slurps*

went to Amber again on friday. music wasn't as good, so didn't really enjoy myself much. so i decided to hop over to The Loft since my other group of friends said it was pumping in there! and it really was! ended off the night with supper at Lamb's, had souvlaki and pita with dips. yummy!

'love actually' is showing tonight! yippie.. love this movie, and the many many characters in it.. haven cook dinner yet. guess it's leftovers again. (self-pity is no pity, mac!) oh, i forgot, there's nuggets and filet-o-fish in the fridge, compliments of marc! dat will do nicely.. i'm starving!