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It's been ages since I last visited it.
Not sure what prompted me to do so.
What I saw brought tears to my eyes.

"Today marks the day where I could really feel happy.
Recap of what I have done.
Lunch was a simple affair at Jack's Place,
in a cosy corner where the table was too small to place all the food.

Food list:
1)Prawns and mango cocktail - Yummy
2)Escargots - Not as gd as I'd expected
3)Potato skins - Yummy
4)Lobster bisque - Yummy
5)Crispy platter - Not good
6)Jacks Special steak - Too full to taste after item 1-5

It's been a long time since I'd been to Jack's Place; the last time I remember was when my Dad brought me when I was like single digit age.
Come to think of it, it used to be a restaurant where we could only go when our parents bring us.
But now, we start to earn a salary and are able to afford such meals. Just a very nice feeling.
The company was perfect too. Right? Right?
Ok. How about a riddle? I never lose but u never win? So who win? Haha.
Then heading down to Giant for my fav activity with my special one.
GROCERY SHOPPING!

You take, I hob, I put in basket, I buy, I carry.
And hold your small hands!

Night was even better. A short 2 hrs really made me feel so happy. Going to Hongkong Cafe.
Sitting down, ordering dessert, laughing abt the past, discussing about the present and of cos,
planning for the future. Its just so beautiful.
Thanks so much. For everything that YOU have given me now.
Love you lots

posted by kelvin"

I miss those times.
Can I have them back?
Sob.

Things have changed.
Indeed, they have.
But I know the love is still unconditional.
It still is, right?
I know I have to learn to be mature,
that our love for each other has escalated to another level.
Not that of courtship anymore,
but not yet of marriage too.
When you stop doing those things,
it doesn't mean the love has ceased.
You just love me in another or different way.
Like my pre-pre-pre-birthday gift.
And the approaching pre-pre-birthday surprise.

I still remember that fateful formulae:
Happiness = reality/expectations
The smaller the expectations, the happier an indvidual gets.
Hence I have really learn not to expect,
so when it doesn't happen,
I don't get disappointed.
When it does,
it's a bonus.
I keep telling myself that,
that I can do it, and live by that,
but am I merely just convincing and deluding myself?

Reading those past entries of yours,
they brought back so much memories.
Those out-of-the-blue trips...
To T3, to sentosa and see Oscar,
to ice-skating, to SAC,
to many other "first times".
With the tiniest thing I do,
it could bring a smile to your face.
With a little flu bug,
it could make you such a worrywart.
Can I still do all that?
Do I really still have that effect on you?

Is this how it really is?
Can things never remain the way they were previously right from the initial stage?
Why?
Why can't they?

The countdown has began.
But you had fallen sick.
Not sure if you remember the science centre trip and got the tickets.
cos you've been so busy with work this week.
Not sure if we're still heading to the theme park for thrill rides,
cos I really don't want you to suffer under the hot scorching sun.
Not sure if dinner is still on, since we are having thai,
and it won't do your sore throat any good.

For every uncertainty,
I am able to come up with a reason.
Or am I just coming up with excuses for you to make myself feel better?
I even told myself I will not be disappointed,
even if it turned out to be just any other ordinary day.
Becos, after all, it is just a birthday.

But birthdays are big to me.
They really are.
And you know it.
I know I shouldn't compare.
But it is a far cry from last year.
You can't deny that.
But I just have to keep telling myself.
You are sick.
You are not well.
You are busy at work.
You had a rough day at the office.
You are tired.
You need more rest.
You need to sleep.
YOU.
That's priority.
Everything else is just secondary.

That's how much you mean to me.
As of day one.
Nothing's changed on my side.
Nothing has.
Nothing will.
I may not be the perfect girlfriend,
but I sure am learning hard to be one.

Becos you are you, everything and so much more.

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