mac's comfort zone

2010-06-15T01:04:00.003+10:00

Yeah!! *exclaims and jumps for joy*

Germackie Shen is now a proud owner of the ultra sazzy,

damn techy, super glammy Macbook Pro.

And she is going to hug it to sleep tonight.

2010-05-10T23:32:00.001+10:00

Germackie is aka Mrs Kelvin lim now!

2010-04-01T05:56:00.004+11:00

I miss you, Mother.

Shannon told me the dreams she and Susan had about you,
and how you always asked about me.
How you will ask Shannon, where am I?
And Shannon will reply to you "there she is" and point to me,
waiting for my school bus at our old Bedok home.
She told me you always wore the same kebaya...
and donned the same short curly hairstyle just like how when you left...

Just the other day when I was rummaging thru my old photos for the montage,
I came across the album that had photos of the funeral.
I was overwhelmed with emotions.
I couldn't help but question what it would be like if you were still around.
What would our lives be like then?

I know you went to Heaven when I was still young,
and am probably the one that you really couldn't let go.
Dad and Mum conveyed to me...
You once told them in their dreams you are waiting for me to get married,
before going for reincarnation.
This gave me a mixed feeling.
Happy that you are going on to another life,
but sad that you are leaving.
Really leaving this time.

I remembered that I used to always ask,
why is that you never come to look for me in my dreams?
I would really want you to that.
Just like how you went to find Kalene and played lego with her.
I may be frightened,
but I think I would be filled with so much joy in the aftermath.

I am scared.
Not because of how I will react.
But because I am beginning to forget how you look like.
And the memories that I had of you are growing faint.
And that really frightens me.
I have so little to remember you by.

Mother, will you come for our big day?

"I never really held you, but I feel you.
You never really spoke, but I hear you.
I never really knew you, but I love you..."

2010-01-29T00:25:00.012+11:00

Finally, an entry long overdue.

Been away for 4 months.
Have so much to pen down, I don't know where to start.

Well, I guess on the hindside & the biggest ground-breaking news of all is...
*drum rolls*

Kelvin proposed last year.
*inserts mega-watt smile*
So I am going to be a bridezilla soon.

It was a modest, knelt-down-flowers-ring-will-you-marry-me proposal.
But his goofiness made it all so much more memorable.

Planned many months back,
he set out on this "mission" with my sis to purchase the gem.
I did tell him not to buy me a diamond ring,
as I will not be able to wear it often, given my job.
It might end up as a white elephant.
But to quote him;
"All girls have one. So you should have one too."
And it came in the little blue box with white ribbon.
Gushes.

The venue was a one bedroom villa at Amara Sanctuary, Sentosa.
Love the place. It was so tranquil.
We had a pool of our own..

The countdown has begun,
but we are, or rather I am, still rather slack in the prep for our big day.
Date has been set; 8th May 2010.
Location: Glass Pavillion

Adore the ghost chairs..

We are also doing away with the traditional banquet.
No ten course chinese dinner,
but instead, a classy 4 course individually plated western sit-down,
tables decked in harry potter style.
With the intention to make it a really simple and private affair,
the guest population has been restricted to 60.
So it is really a ceremony only for the dearest and the closest.

Fret not, we will still be having a big cook off in June,
where all the friends and relatives can attend and view photos & videos of that eventful day.
We both would very much prefer to do it this way,
less hectic, more relaxing and casual.
Oh, and we are not taking any bridal shots too.
I don't want it, Kelvin is more than happy without it.
Gonna put that sum of money to better use - Honeymoon in Europe. =)

The house has also undergone a huge mega renovation.
The whole process was needless to say, one big migraine after another.
But we have finally settled down in our nest and embasking in a homely abode now.
Complete with a walk-in wardrobe to boot.
I think that a home is the biggest and best gift anyone can give me.
A shelter over my head,
a place to call my own.

Work-wise has been great too,
my colleagues are still rocking my sampan with their crazy antics.

At Ruili & David's Wedding

At Andrea & Richard's Wedding

Shift work has been robbing off my sleep though.
Seems like my insomnia is back again.
Kelvin bought me a new memory pillow to treat my torticollis though.
No more neckaches..

Which brings me to end the post with this thought.
I really cannot imagine my life without him.
He completes me.

Kel, if you are reading this,
as I have said so many times before;
thank you for being you,
and for making me, the happiest germackie.

2009-09-26T06:14:00.001+10:00

Let it go.

You must learn, Germac.

Learn to let it go.

2009-09-08T05:04:00.000+10:00

Holiday coming up! Big plans!

Can't wait!

Grins.

2009-07-21T23:15:00.002+10:00

Yippee!! Germackie Shen is a proud owner of...

the hippiest, coolest, tech-iest mobile device ever created!

Oh, how I love u, my brand new iPhone 3GS!
You are everything all rolled into one!
Thanks for being my phone, my ipod, my nintendo DS, my internet browser...
Thanks for even telling me when my bus will arrive at a desired bus stop (ultimate coolness!)...

That said, I can never look at another phone the same way ever again.
I'm a true blue mac lover now.

Hmmm... the macbook air looks fabuloso too... Lol.

P.S.: Kel, I know I have said it a million and one dozen times.
Still, thank you. So so much...
And I'm sorry for screaming into your ears 4275198345o6 times how much I really love it.

=)

2009-06-22T01:32:00.000+10:00

It's my all-grown-up couz's bird dae!

Themed "bright nerds on the streets"... the night was an eventful sight...
with the 6 sisters glamming things up in bespectacled-style!

Even the elderlys joined in the hilarious fun. Just look at her parents and mine...

Me and Cat in a goofy-take!

It's been a long long while since we last hang out.

Am glad I saw you all that day...

The talk-about-anything-under-the-suns,
the laughter, the horsing-arounds...

Just wanna say I miss you all.

Couz-zies rulez!

My Special Day

2009-06-10T02:07:00.009+10:00

First up, a simple family lunch affair.
"Thanks Momsie, for picking up the tab!
To Dad and Susan, for the big fat red packets!
Now awaiting Shannon's belated gift all the way from Paris
when she returns from her honeymoon in July!"

*claps hands in glee*

Received a gift that said so much more than it did too...

Thank you, my darling princess!

Back at work...

Where the good ole gang gave me a pleasant surprise!

Huge mega super duper thanks! You guys rock my sampan!

2009-05-31T01:53:00.005+10:00

I had hurt myself,
by hurting you...

I'm sorry.

Update (2038hrs): Warmest thanks to all the dearest and the closest (you know who you are), for the concerned texts and anxious calls...

Am feeling alot better now.
I think it's just guys being guys...
And I was just being a girl, throwing an unreasonable bitch fit when I was writing that entry.

One of my chums told me the differences between me and kel
will make us up to be a perfect couple.
After all, opposites do attract.
Another girlfriend of mine had also enlightened me with this statement;
"Look at what you have with him and not what you wish you would have without him".

I should be contented with what I have.
And I oughta just shoot myself now for the previous thread.
The following pic will explain why.

I rather have bad times with you, then good times with someone else.

2009-05-29T01:39:00.003+10:00

It's been ages since I last visited it.
Not sure what prompted me to do so.
What I saw brought tears to my eyes.

"Today marks the day where I could really feel happy.
Recap of what I have done.
Lunch was a simple affair at Jack's Place,
in a cosy corner where the table was too small to place all the food.

Food list:
1)Prawns and mango cocktail - Yummy
2)Escargots - Not as gd as I'd expected
3)Potato skins - Yummy
4)Lobster bisque - Yummy
5)Crispy platter - Not good
6)Jacks Special steak - Too full to taste after item 1-5

It's been a long time since I'd been to Jack's Place; the last time I remember was when my Dad brought me when I was like single digit age.
Come to think of it, it used to be a restaurant where we could only go when our parents bring us.
But now, we start to earn a salary and are able to afford such meals. Just a very nice feeling.
The company was perfect too. Right? Right?
Ok. How about a riddle? I never lose but u never win? So who win? Haha.
Then heading down to Giant for my fav activity with my special one.
GROCERY SHOPPING!

You take, I hob, I put in basket, I buy, I carry.
And hold your small hands!

Night was even better. A short 2 hrs really made me feel so happy. Going to Hongkong Cafe.
Sitting down, ordering dessert, laughing abt the past, discussing about the present and of cos,
planning for the future. Its just so beautiful.
Thanks so much. For everything that YOU have given me now.
Love you lots

posted by kelvin"

I miss those times.
Can I have them back?
Sob.

Things have changed.
Indeed, they have.
But I know the love is still unconditional.
It still is, right?
I know I have to learn to be mature,
that our love for each other has escalated to another level.
Not that of courtship anymore,
but not yet of marriage too.
When you stop doing those things,
it doesn't mean the love has ceased.
You just love me in another or different way.
Like my pre-pre-pre-birthday gift.
And the approaching pre-pre-birthday surprise.

I still remember that fateful formulae:
Happiness = reality/expectations
The smaller the expectations, the happier an indvidual gets.
Hence I have really learn not to expect,
so when it doesn't happen,
I don't get disappointed.
When it does,
it's a bonus.
I keep telling myself that,
that I can do it, and live by that,
but am I merely just convincing and deluding myself?

Reading those past entries of yours,
they brought back so much memories.
Those out-of-the-blue trips...
To T3, to sentosa and see Oscar,
to ice-skating, to SAC,
to many other "first times".
With the tiniest thing I do,
it could bring a smile to your face.
With a little flu bug,
it could make you such a worrywart.
Can I still do all that?
Do I really still have that effect on you?

Is this how it really is?
Can things never remain the way they were previously right from the initial stage?
Why?
Why can't they?

The countdown has began.
But you had fallen sick.
Not sure if you remember the science centre trip and got the tickets.
cos you've been so busy with work this week.
Not sure if we're still heading to the theme park for thrill rides,
cos I really don't want you to suffer under the hot scorching sun.
Not sure if dinner is still on, since we are having thai,
and it won't do your sore throat any good.

For every uncertainty,
I am able to come up with a reason.
Or am I just coming up with excuses for you to make myself feel better?
I even told myself I will not be disappointed,
even if it turned out to be just any other ordinary day.
Becos, after all, it is just a birthday.

But birthdays are big to me.
They really are.
And you know it.
I know I shouldn't compare.
But it is a far cry from last year.
You can't deny that.
But I just have to keep telling myself.
You are sick.
You are not well.
You are busy at work.
You had a rough day at the office.
You are tired.
You need more rest.
You need to sleep.
YOU.
That's priority.
Everything else is just secondary.

That's how much you mean to me.
As of day one.
Nothing's changed on my side.
Nothing has.
Nothing will.
I may not be the perfect girlfriend,
but I sure am learning hard to be one.

Becos you are you, everything and so much more.

2009-05-21T23:43:00.001+10:00

In 24 years...

My very first Bangkok trip.

My very first family trip.

2009-05-12T01:30:00.004+10:00

Description beyond words.
While I'm sweating my butts off in PPEs and N95s,
this encouraging vid will keep me moving, and fighting. Head on!
Grins.

To Joyce and Oslee,

Heartfelt thanks...
My thoughts are with you at down under too.

Hugz.

Update: Big congrats to the cast for being featured on Stomp and Channelnewsasia!

2009-05-03T04:31:00.004+10:00

Ocie & Shannon's Big Day

What does love mean when you are 16
and when you are older at 60?

Love is about those moments when
you do not feel a need for love to be explained.

Love is about accepting that low comes with high
and that the two are inseparable.

Everything in the world is affected by love
and in everything we can find love.

Spoken and written in thousands of languages,
love is the perfect inspiration. The ultimate mystery.

Love is a force. You need to start giving to feel stronger than ever.
Like magic. So powerful. And yet so simple.

Love is a choice. Our choice for a lifetime of love together.
Our resolute notion of love. Our love story.

---- Shannon Sim

Beyond doubt, it was lavishly dished out in style.
Enjoy the pics.
=)

The prep:
A small post-it note detailing the forget-me-not items.

Lynette and Hon G doing the works.

Presenting, Ms Wang (from the Vera Wang collection)

Dowry - Pearl set from Tiff and Co.
Wedding bands - Cartier Platinum Rings (From the Love Collection)

With grinning-from-ear-to-ear dad & mum

Two down, one more to go? *smiles sheepishly*

With Thomas, our nephew, looking all charming

The "sisters" all dolled up in white with hand-made wrist corsages.

The most gorgeous moment a lady will look in her life...

Ocie in his Paul Smith suit arrives...

With his "brothers" all suavely geared up too.

The gate crash ceremony starts. With paper undies!

Outlining Shannon's pet name.

With a pole in hand, and a flower clenched...

The "deal or no deal" negotiation

Penalties continued. With wax strips. Lol.

Uniquely created one-of-a-kind bikini;
true to the song which tone-deaf bro-in-law had to sing -
"Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini"

Finally, the groom meets the bride.

The tea ceremony...

The Sims Portrait.

Fatigued but still all smiles...

Moving off to next destination...

In Chrysler's 10-seater stretch limo!!

Posing... with their beige Salvatore Ferragamo heels and black Prada shoes in the limelight. Ha...

Sis and me with baby amy, + many papers in hand to make sure we don't "over-run"...

You looked amazing, Cheh... *smiles*

Outdoor shoot (Photography by Lumina Studio)

Back at Hilton Singapore's suite

The night banquet themed French Royal (His Story. Her Story) of 320 guests begins.

Ocie and his bro, Oslee at the first march-in

Shannon and Dad, and flowergirl amy. She did a great job! We were all so proud of her.

The "handover"... with the famous tagline "4 children okay?"

All seated...

with inidividually placed wedding favours of a gift box consisting Molton Brown hand wash and hand lotion, and mini Chupa Chups lollipop with bow ribbon for each guest.

Specially made themed centerpiece for each table; each three-legged centerpiece was designed and made to stand firmly on the outer circumference of the lazy susan, and left on the table throughout the entire dinner – unlike other wedding centerpieces where they would normally be removed once the first course is served. Décor by PDI Artline.

Beautifully taken candid shots

Speech of much gratitude... and emotions.

Live performance by Ash and Shauna Simon, winner and finalist from the reality show “Live The Dream” respectively.

Setting off for the next change...

Getting ready for the second march in...
Gown by Issey Miyake (From the Pleats Please Collection) with black Prada heels

Yum Seng!

One big, very happy family.

2009-04-16T01:01:00.004+10:00

Two decades of remembrance

"In loving memory of

Ong Siew Tin

Departed: 16th April 1989

Age: 37

Always remembered by husband, 3 daughters and love ones"

It's been twenty long years, Ma.
Time really flies.
I was only six when you left;
cancer took you away from me.
I still remember how sick you were,
but the details were vague.
Susan told me more,
then I realised how little I knew about you when you were at your deathbed.
I didn't know the disease robbed you of your sight,
I only recalled how chemotherapy laid its horrible effects on you.
You were almost bald, clad skinny in your flowery PJs.
And had a big scar over your chest.
After nursing school,
I found out even more.
Why you were always having chesty coughs;
you had pneumonia from prolonged bedrest and because your immunity was low.
I understood why you were always in bed,
so weak and frail,
not up and about, walking me to the school bus waiting spot like my neighbour's mother.

Sometimes I can't help but wonder how things would be if you were still around.
I would have a mother when I was in primary school.
I would not have to tell my classmates I do not have a mum.
You know, those drama serials we see on the tube,
the plotted scenes of a child without a parent are a reality.
For I really felt empty during art and craft lesson for mother's day.
My teacher would always say tactfully,
you can make this for your father instead.
So the card would read "To Papa" instead of "Dear Mummy"...

I wanted a mother. I really did.
And I know that's why you blessed me with one.
One that is taking care of Dad and us just as you would.
I'm sure you are glad,
that she loves us,
just like her own precious daughters.
Yes, I cried, the very first time I had to call her Mum when I was 11.
But I cried too,
when I was so thankful I have her for being that mother figure I always needed.

When I went to see you on Friday,
I realised how much I miss you.
How I miss hiding behind your back while you laid down to watch Crimewatch.
Because I was too timid to see the gore.
And the birthday parties you always arranged for me.
Filled with so many yummy goodies that you cooked.
I'm so glad I still had those pictures.
Cause sadly, I do not have much to remember you by.
Why have you not come into my dreams as you did to my cheh chehs?
Not once, Ma, ever since you left.
I asked Susan and Shannon why,
they said it's because you know I'm in good hands.
Well, I am, Ma.
I think he would have told you that too that day.

I love you, Ma.
And I will always remember, and bear it deeply in mind.
That I will not stand at your grave and cry,
For you are not there, you did not die.

2009-03-30T00:26:00.000+11:00

I've been away for eons.

My gawd.

No points for correct predictions.

Too many photos, too little time...

The next entry (I promise next week!)
will not be a disappointment.

Stay tuned!

2009-03-04T12:12:00.001+11:00

"She is a joy that cannot be taken away,
Once she enters your life, she is there to stay..."

I miss you Cheh Cheh. Terribly.

2009-02-01T03:17:00.002+11:00

Delayed.
Elapsed.
Overdue.

It's been a good two months since my last proper account.
Besides school, I'm kept awfully busy with the move.

Trying to get my act together and adapt to the alienated abode now;
certainly seems like the stabilizing phase back in Aussie all over again.
Foreign place, outlandish surroundings.
Feeling really indifferent.
Being a true heartlander definitely has its perks though -
grocers and hawkers,
markets and name-it-you-have-its;
they were all just a stone's throw away.
Having said that, I still miss my old nest terribly.

Shannon's wedding was a big blast.
"His story, Her story".
Stretched limousine,
Just married.
Chupa chups lollis,
Molten Brown souvenirs.
Momentous montages,
compelling speeches.
Happy tears,
Squeeze-the-pain-out-of-you hugs.
It was just beyond description.
Will let the pictures do the talking once I get my hands on them.
Pinkie promise.

Hmmm... the festive seasons are really kaput.
Xmas, new year, lunar new year...
No extravagant parties,
just modest and mellowed times with love ones.
Perhaps its age.
Or plain excuses.
Nonetheless, I still relished the holidays.

Just finished two papers last week.
Deadly zombiefied,
but am pleasurably pleased as punch.
Am beginning my month-long hospital attachments on Monday.
First stop - Tan Tock Seng A&E.
The busiest in town,
so the experience will definitely be a great eye-opener.
Alittle apprehensive as usual,
but am indubitably psyched too.

But before that,

rollerblading tom!
Time to rid of those extra calories from CNY.
Lol.

Loves.

P.S.: It was an unexpected encounter.
Two unexpected encounters actually.
Lots of catching up to do,
since hide and seek was duly over.
And chatted we did.
Over nothing and almost everything under the sun.
I told you how I was fumbling clumsily through life.
Made mistakes, had regrets.
And how I'm better because of them.
Drowning sorrows in a bowl of pain no more,
I was able to look at you and smile,
just like an old long lost bosom soulmate...

2009-01-26T01:21:00.000+11:00

Dong Dong Chiang..

Happy Prosperous Lunar New Year everyone!

Huat ah!

2008-11-25T01:01:00.010+11:00

I have so much to write,
I don't know where to begin.

Had a dream last night.
That I was back in Sydney for studies.
Not exactly deja vu,
for the place and situation were different.
But the affect was oh so familiar.

Perhaps the 11pm drama serial on channel 8 has brought on some memories.
Sydney Fish Market, Taronga Zoo, Hunter Valley,
Pancakes on the Rocks, Queen Victoria Building,
Bondi, Newtown, Hoochie Mama, Nandos...
All these venues, lit so much remembrances.
Can't say for sure they were happy ones, nor forlorn.
However they do make a heart heavy.

Last year, this time, I never thought
I would be able to open the door to my heart to someone else again.
My vision and thoughts revolved around a single individual...
The number 23, Pixel Chix, Starburst,
caramelised onions, eggs benedict, shar pei pups, Tamiya...
Just to name a few; the attributes were abundant.

I used to question myself...
Why did God give onto others what I couldn't have?
I was willing to do and give even more just to regain what I've lost.
I worked so so hard, in the attempt to recover that defunct love.
But through the ordeal, I've learnt that timing accounts for entirety.
No matter what actions are rendered,
they will be proven futile if the instances are not right.
You can execute the most romantic and quixotic plan in this whole world,
nevertheless, it will be fruitless should the recipient rejects it.
Not because the opposite party doesn't appreciate it, nor stop feeling for you,
but for the mere yet substantial reason - the person's not ready for acceptance.

The good ole reminiscences...
I need to say goodbye to.
Forgetting them,
would be a fabrication I shouldn't do.
For they were, after all,
once a lovely chapter of my life.
It's time to build a whole new archive of nostalgia.
A creation of fabuloso muse, here I come with vive.

JM, I wish you well.
*smiles warmly*

2008-10-24T01:52:00.003+11:00

A brand new chapter in my life,
accounts for a fresh newfangled start.

Where should I begin?
So much has happened since I last went MIA.

In principio, I've reverted to an academic lifestyle.
Again!!
Just a mere ten months break since my Honours in Syd last Dec,
and now I'm back to pulling my hair ends.
This time at my mother school - NYP.
Doing an advanced diploma in nursing (emergency)
is definite no child's play;
the pathophysiology bit is enough
to make me down caffeine by the buckets.
On the contrary, it's pretty awesome to hit the books again.
The lectures may be joltful,
but they sure beat facing impatient parents and screaming kids.
Bah.
And a super plus!
The canteen's ultra cheap lunches:
@ $1.50 per bowl of noodles!
Lol!

Domestic affairs - my house is sold.
Like finally. After a whole year of failed attempts.
There is at long last, an interested and genuine buyer.
Though the quotation was less than satisfactory,
but dad thought it's time to let go,
imminent of future losses.
Our Camry is gone too.
Dad drives an Opel van now:
in view of his new job -
back to F&B at the SPH.
I can't describe how I really feel about this situation.
Am glad on one hand that the financial load
is freed off my parents' shoulders,
yet the act of reality does sting a little.
Twelve years of memories,
it's kinda painful to release.

Have been flat-shopping around the
nearby heartlands for the past month.
Seems awfully difficult to find an ideal household.
And we have to shift by end Jan '09.
Fingers crossed we'll find an apt apartment
before the due date.

A big bonus on the move;
I'm finally getting my own room!
Because Shannon is getting hitched!
On new year's day!
She's been so busy preparing;
personalized wedding invitation cards,
a Vera Wang gown (mega-wow!) etc.
She's got it laid out in style!
That's my sis for you. =)
I'm gonna be her bridesmaid,
so I'll be soaking up on all the glam too!

TGIF!
With a long weekend too!
Hurray!
Never truly felt the joy of such occasions,
cause shift work robs you of such "privileges".
And it's KK's D&D this Sat @ Suntec!
(so that leaves me with just 2 more days to decide what to wear!)
*panic attack*

To end, life's still good.
And I know it will stay this way.

Cheerios!

2008-09-04T04:15:00.002+10:00

Life's been very kind to me.
Kudos to my partners-in-crime.

You girls rock.
Big time.

On another note,
no more dvds and endless chats/gossips during night shifts please.
I'm totally running out of eye concealer.
And to boot,
those pigging-out potluck sessions have to stop.
My growing love handles are soooo not funny.
Lastly,
the gates of alcohell are not to be prevailed again!
Instead of dying from lethal blood-borne diseases
due to needle-stick injuries,
or being exposed to that damn bird flu virus,
we are all gonna turn into jaundiced corpses with liver damages.
(Then what's good of us donating our organs for research or
being cadavers in NYP's science lab??)

Still, you dolls are my love.
Cheerios to the hippiest and craziest department in KKH.

*sings 'Top of the World' at the top of my lungs*

2008-08-01T02:53:00.001+10:00

I love my job.
I think I am one of the very few people
who are fortunate enough
to have their passion as their occupation.

"When you're a nurse,
you know that every day you will touch a life...
or a life will touch yours."

Happy Nurses' Day!

=)

2008-07-17T04:38:00.004+10:00

Miss Invisible - Marie Digby

There's a girl
Who sits under the bleachers
Just another day eating alone
And though she smiles
There is something she's hiding
And she can't find a way to relate
She just goes unnoticed
As the crowd passes by
And she'll pretend to be busy
When inside she just wants to cry
And she'll say...

Take a little look at the life of Miss Always Invisible
Look a little harder
I really really want you to put yourself in her shoes
Take another look at the face of Miss Always Invisible
Look a little closer
And maybe then you will see why she waits for the day
When you'll ask her... her name

The beginning, in the first weeks of class
She did everything to try and fit in
But the others they couldn't seem
To get past all the things that mismatched on the surface
And she would close her eyes
When they left and she fell down the stairs
And the more that they joked
And the more that they screamed
She retreated to where she is now
And she'll sing...

Take a little look at the life of Miss Always Invisible
Look a little harder
I really really want you to put yourself in her shoes
Take another look at the face of Miss Always Invisible
Look a little closer
And maybe then you will see why she waits for the day
When you'll ask her... her name

Then one day
Just the same as the last
Just the days spent in counting the time
Came a boy who sat under the bleachers
Just a little bit further behind...

2008-07-14T04:01:00.000+10:00

Just the other day, I asked my girlfriend if I will be happy.

This was her reply.

"The search for happiness is often one of the chief sources of unhappiness.

Things happen for a reason, girl.

So unless you open your heart to other possibilities,

you will never find out if you'll be happy."

I've been hoping to lose the pain I'm holding.

That constantly left me in pieces.

Blinded by the memories,

I could not see reality.

But it's time.

To rise from the ashes, find my wings,

To fly once again.

And I realised that all that I needed,

Was there right along, within my reach,

As close as the beat of my heart.

So that I may never fly alone again.

Kel, I can't thank you enough.

You brought a whole new definition to the word "unconditional".

I'm slowly getting closure.

I guess it's really over.

I'm finally getting better.

2008-07-09T02:20:00.001+10:00

Happy. Smiling. Toothy-grin. Buckets of giggles.

I just wanna be like this.

Always.

2008-06-20T12:52:00.003+10:00

Please Remember - LeAnn Rimes

Time, sometimes the time just slips away
And you're left with yesterday
Left with the memories
I, I’ll always think of you and smile
And be happy for the time
I had you with me
Though we go our seperate ways
I won’t forget, so don’t forget
The memories we made

Please remember, please remember
I was there for you
And you were there for me
Please remember, our time together
The time was yours and mine
While we were wild and free
Please remember, please remember me

Goodbye, there’s just no sadder word to say
And it’s sad to walk away
With just the memories
Who’s to know what might have been
We’ll leave behind a life and time
We’ll never know again

Please remember, please remember
I was there for you
And you were there for me
And remember, please remember me

Please remember, please remember
I was there for you
And you were there for me
Please remember, our time together
The time was yours and mine
While we were wild and free
Then remember, please remember me

And how we laugh and how we smile
And how this world was yours and mine
And how a dream was out of reach
I stood by you, you stood by me
We took each day and made it shine
We wrote our names across the sky
We ride so fast, we ride so free
I had you and you had me

2008-06-20T11:45:00.003+10:00

I remembered a game I used to play;
coming up with a superhero power
for every letter of the alphabet.

Amphibious.
Bulletproof.
Clairvoyant.
Danger sensitive.
Electromagnetic.
Flight.
Glow-in-the-dark.
Heat vision.
Invincibility.
Jumping over tall buildings.
Kevlar skin.
Laser sight.
Mind control.
Never-evding life.
Omniscience.
Pyrokinesis.
Quick reflexes.
Regeneration.
Superhuman strength.
Telepathy.
Underwater breathing.
Vanishing.
Weather control.
X-ray vision.
Yelling loud.
Zero gravity.

Nowhere in that list was the power
to keep the one you love beside you constantly.
If a superhero couldn't do it,
how could any ordinary man?

2008-06-16T05:35:00.001+10:00

This is my dad.
I think he is the most awesome-est person in this world.
Not because he brought me up single-handledly,
but just simply because he's my father.

Recalling those times when I was still a toddler,
he had to juggle his work and me.
And not forgetting the difficult period after mum passed away.
Through his grief, he still had to care for me.
I had Macdonalds everyday,
till I was as round as a hamburger.
I can still remember so vividly some of the images
when Mum was very ill.
He would care for her at her bedside,
feeding her and making her comfortable when she vomitted.

Then there were those times I was being put up
in a neighbour's place under a nanny's care.
Where I would wake up crying for him every time after a nap,
or disallow him to leave me there,
and refusing to follow the 5th storey aunt home after kindie,
upon which he would have to travel all the way
from his work just to pacify me.

No other way out, he then hired a domestic helper
to care for the family.
With that, he was able to concentrate on his work,
but because of the long working hours,
it meant I saw him less too.
I was asleep, when he was home,
and I was still in slumberland when he got up to leave for work.
He would leave my allowance at the counter,
and should I need extra money for excursions etc,
I'll leave a note for him.
Signatures for report cards and weekly spellings
were also initialled like this.

I was a very sick child when I was young.
Often falling sick, I required much care and attention.
Running high temperatures and asthmatic episodes
were regularities,
and I remembered even vomitting all over
my dad's shirt and pants in a coffeeshop.
Twice.
(That's the first time I ever heard my dad said vulgarities. =P)

When little, I would always sleep in the car
when we're out on family trips,
especially on the journey home.
He would then have to carry me upstairs,
but once I reached home,
I'll be all awake, up and jumping again.
I know I was pretending to be asleep,
but I guess I just love to have him carry me.
Be it lazy or otherwise, it sure was very nice
to fling my arms around his neck,
and lay my head on his strong shoulders.
He ever questioned me when I was about 7 or 8.
He asked if I would still sit on his lap when I'm older.
I said yes, I definitely will.
He knew it was not gonna happen,
but still, he smiled and laughed at my answer.

My dad has many likes.
He loves his fishes (we have 3 big tanks,
minimalised from the previous 6),
and he has a new hobby now - a pair of lovebirds.
Now retired for a year, he has picked up several new fads.
Kite-flying; he simply enjoys that,
and we've done it together as a family.
He would stand, filled with pride when his self-made kite
soared high up into the clouds.
Swimming's next; he used to bring me when I was still little,
at the Bedok Swimming Complex.
Being the handyman of the household,
I also know I can always run to him
to fix whatever I needed help fixing.

Pa, I really can't ask for anything else more
I would want for in a father.
You're amazing.
More than amazing.
Thank you for everything you've done for me and this family.
I love you to bits.

Happy Father's Day.

2008-06-11T06:27:00.002+10:00

Insomnia.

Sigh.

-stares at ceiling and prepares self for another round of
sheep counting-

Not working.

Double sigh.

A glass of milk?

Failed. My eyes still refuse to shut.

I think I need a Valium.

2008-06-09T04:55:00.001+10:00

Mac: It's crazy right, to love somebody who's hurt you?

Anonymous: It's even crazier to think that someone who hurts you loves you.

2008-06-07T05:38:00.002+10:00

Take Me Away - Lifehouse

This time all I want is you
There is no one else
Who can take your place
This time you burn me with your eyes
You see past all the lies
You take it all away
I've seen it all
It was never enough
It keeps leaving me needing you

Take me away
Take me away
I've got nothing left to say
Just take me away

I try to make my way to you
But still I feel so lost
I don't know what else I can do
Cause I've seen it all
It was never enough
It keeps leaving me needing you

Don't give up on me yet
Don't forget who I am
I know I'm not there yet
But don't let me stay here alone

I've seen it all
And its never enough
It keeps leaving me needing you
I've seen enough
And its never enough
It keeps leaving me needing you

Take me away
Take me away

2008-06-06T06:23:00.001+10:00

I have a lot to say.

Then his picture unexpectedly pops up,
causing a heart-skipping amnesiac moment.

Now, I have nothing to say.

2008-06-01T05:05:00.002+10:00

Happy Birthday to me.

Happy...

It's a whole bunch of baby steps,
but I'll get there.
Eventually.
I know I will.

Big smile, Mac.
It's your day.

2008-05-28T02:25:00.003+10:00

September 12th, 2007

"Hello, how's everything?", she beamed.

He hesitated, long enough for her to die inside all over again.

She slid into the passenger seat while he stowed his gear, turned over the ignition and blasted the AC. The car still smelt the same, as how she had remembered just two months back.

She glanced at the stranger next to her and tried to remember when he used to be a part of her.
Instead, she chose to turn and stared out the window, watching the scenery streamed by without registering a single image.
He seemed to be lost in a thousand thoughts, not a single one of which she could guess.
These days, it seemed like the words between them were there only to outline the silences.
She understood better than anyone else that, in the blink of an eye, you might reinvent yourself..
She understood that the person you were yesterday might not be the person you were tomorrow.
But this time, she was the one who wanted to hold on to what she had, instead of letting go.
The breathing space she gave,
had somehow became an inmeasurable distance.

She thought up a thousand questions - How's school? Did you go wakeboarding? Do you think it will rain again tonight?
- but she couldn't speak.
It was too much, sitting there on the leather seat, just a foot away from him, the way she'd sat beside him in the car a hundred times before.

He pulled out of the parking spot and cleared his throat.

"You feeling better?"

Than what? she thought.

She tucked her hair behind her ear and glanced down. She thought of how she used to grasp the stick shift, so that when he reached for it, he would automatically be holding her hand. She slid her palm beneath her thigh and gripped the seat so she wouldn't do anything stupid.

"How do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"All of it. You know. Go to class. Out. Have fun. Make it through the day. Act like... like none of it mattered."

He stopped the car near the park and reached across the seat and brushed his thumb over ther cheek;
until then, she hadn't been aware she was crying. Again.

He sighed. "Girl, it mattered."

By now, the tears were coming faster. "But I love you. I love you so so much."

There was no easy switch that she could flip to stem the flow of feelings, no way to drain the memories that pooled like acid in her stomach because her heart no longer knew what to do with them. She couldn't blame him, she didn't like herself like this, either. These days, her entire life was about making people believe she was someone she wasn't anymore. But she couldn't go back to being the girl she'd been before she met him; that girl was gone.

So where did that leave her?

It was not that he had broken up with her just three months to her final return for good. It was not that she - a nobody elevated to the level of queen by association, who seemed to have hit jackpot - had lost her Cinderella status. It was that she truly believed you could learn how love could change the speed your heart beat, how it made you dream in rainbow colors.

It was that she knew she couldn't have loved him this hard if he hadn't loved her that way too.

He was wavering, she could tell. When he reached over the console and pulled her into his arms, she tucked her head against his neck.
She couldn't remember the last time they were this close to each other. She couldn't remember a lot of things; like the sound of his breathing when he gave himself over to sleep, or the half smile that slipped out like a secret when something took him by surprise.

"I can be whatever you want me to be," she promised.

Please, she said, half question, half command.

Thank you, she murmured, to God, to him, or maybe both, when he held her closer.

His words stirred the hair beside her ear. "You've got to stop. We're over."

His words were like a handful of stones dropped from a cliff.
She disengaged herself, wiping her eyes on the tank top she was wearing that was now a tad too loose for her.

"If it's us, how come you get to decide?"

He didn't answer. He couldn't.

2008-05-23T03:08:00.000+10:00

I think I lost my brain but I forgot.

I'm trying to think where I left it,
but it's hard to think without my brain.

2008-05-11T02:23:00.008+10:00

Mummykins

Somehow we always say the least,
To those we love the best.
And hope our thoughts are understood,
Although they're unexpressed.
That's why it means so very much,
When days like this are here,
To say how very much you're loved,
Each day throughout the year.

In the lottery of life,
I got the best - it's clear to see.
God made a wonderful mother,
And He gave that dear mother to me.

I love you, Dearie Momsie.

And especially for you...

Mum, I miss you so very much,
On every Mother’s Day.
And not just then, but every minute,
Since you went away.
You were the center of my life,
Before your soul passed on;
It’s just so hard for me to believe,
That you are really gone.

But I celebrate the life you lived,
And all the things you gave me;
My wonderful memories of you,
Are the things that will comfort and save me.
Please think of me, as I think of you,
With hearts so full of love;
I'm looking up at you, sweet Mum,
As you look at me from above.

Happy Mother's Day, 妈咪...
And a very happy birthday to you too.

2008-04-09T23:23:00.002+10:00

Youth Expedition Project - 2005

I came to understand that such is the nature of relief work - delight conjured despondency,
fun coupled with frustration and trust ridden with suspicion.
But we did what we could with the little we had
to as many as we can.

I took comfort in that.

A memory is what is left when something happens,
and does not completely unhappen.

2008-04-01T17:17:00.000+11:00

Bangkok entry coming up!

Stay tuned!

2008-03-16T23:44:00.002+11:00

The Critical Care Unit Experience - A Patient's View

The machines' faint monotonous beeping,

were accompanied by the occasional ring of alarms.

Underneath a donned blue gown,

chest leads ran everywhere.

An intravenous cannula insitu on the left dorsum,

as opposed to the blood pressure cuff

that worked religiously on my right.

Inhaling deeply, the oxygen smelt stale and funny.

Nature calls were answered with a bedpan.

I couldn't be more embarrassed.

The ward, of course, was a different world.

The TV, an attached bathroom (!!!) were now luxuries to me.

However, to my loved ones, the transition

from having someone at your bedside 24 hours a day

to someone checking you once in the night is unsettling,

at the very least,

and utterly frightening at the most.

But I've survived, this ordeal if you can term it in that mannerism.

And to quote, I'm "as good as new" now.

It's been more than a week.

Seven long days since I was diagnosed and wheeled out of CCU.

The only thing on my mind now,

is when can I sink my teeth into a plate of..

CHICKEN RICE!

P.S.: To those who have walked through this with me,

words of gratitude will only do you all injustice.

And to those who were unaware,

you know very well why you all were kept in the dark.

2008-03-13T01:57:00.000+11:00

A long overdue entry...

Sure, the event was no blast.
Definitely, the food was nothing to rave about.
Absolutely, the theme couldn't have been more passe.
(Back to school??!!)
And how can I fail to credit the emcee for his outrageous lines?

But alas, because of your company,
I couldn't ask for more that night.
Thanks dear.

Hugz.

2008-03-05T23:39:00.001+11:00

Can't wait to leave my footprints there.

And say hello to Nemo.

=0)

2008-02-26T03:54:00.002+11:00

Sleepy eyes.
Yawns.
Runny nose.
Sniffs.
Rumbling tummy.
Growls.

My very first night shift.

2008-02-22T01:57:00.001+11:00

Unconditional Love.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.
True Love.

2008-02-19T00:12:00.005+11:00

I am not a big Youtube fan.
But this video clip is special.
Really special.

Because I'm a girl - Kiss

I just cant understand the hearts of men
They tell you they want you and then they leave you
This is the first time, you're special
I believed those words and I was so happy

You should have told me you didn't like me anymore
But I couldn't see that and you just rushed me
Although I will curse you, I'll still miss you
Since I am a girl, to whom love is everything

I heard that if you give up things too easily
To a man, he will get bored with you
I don't think this is wrong
A girl says that she will never be fooled again
But she will fall in love again

You should have told me you didn't like me any more
But I couldn't see that and you just rushed me
Although I will curse you, I'll still miss you
Since I am a girl, to whom love is everything

[Narration]
Hey babe, the pain
It's not enough to describe how I feel
We were so happy together
But I know now, I've been blind
You told me that you'd never let me down
Whenever I needed you, you'd always be here
I can forgive but I cant forget
Even though you hurt me, I still love you
I still love you

There someone I'm in love with...
Although I can't be with him now...
I'm still in love with him...

2008-02-14T21:23:00.001+11:00

Close your eyes - Melody

Lying broken on the floor
Waiting for her man to come back to her
She hums a melancholy tune
Just to pass the miserable time away @ Away...

Though the candle has long before
Fickered off it's last ray of light to her
She sees a vision of his face
It is haunting her, still unable to let him go
Shut the door, there's no need to look back

Close your eyes and sleep tonight
Let dreams escort you into the light
You'll find the love that you're looking for
You can do so much more...
But you still choose to care... For him

Reading back her diaries
She relives a distant memory
Those times are nothing but a haze
But she cannot seem to face
What's then is now gone...
Shut the door, there's no need to look back

Close your eyes and sleep tonight
Let dreams escort you into the light
You'll find the love that you're looking for
You can do so much more... If you just
Say goodbye to yesterday
It's never too late to find a way
So take a look and you'll clearly see
You can do anything...
But you still choose to care...

There is always a silver lining to a cloud
You gotta realize it now
Can't you feel
Endless love
It's shimmering all around you

Close your eyes and sleep tonight
Let dreams escort you into the light
You'll find the love that you're looking for
You can do so much more... if you just
Say goodbye to yesterday
It's never too late to find a way
So take a look and you'll clearly see
You can do anything...
But you still choose to care... For him

2007-11-13T16:57:00.000+11:00

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry, I just had to do that.
I thought I would cry initially,
And weep tears of relief,
But I didn't.
And I'm kinda surprised that I didn't actually.
Instead, I screamed hysterically.
Into my pillow, of course.
Just feeling quite jaded,
And zombified.
But one thing's in cert..

Mackie sure is one happy girl now.
And I mean really happy.
Beyond happy.
Ecstatic.
Euphoric.
Flying high.
Over the moon.
On cloud nine.
Okay, you get the idea. *laughs*
I even smiled at strangers on the road earlier on.
Can't seem to wipe the stupid goofy ear-to-ear grin off my face.

I finally finished what I came here for.

All 304 pages of it.
Though my brain is alittle fried and a tad bit screwed,
The massive sense of achievement is something
I simply can't put down into words.

I have big plans after today.
Very big ones.
And I can't wait to start cracking!
For now, I really need to go into hibernation.
Am severely sleep-deprived.
But not before a well-deserved meal fit for a king.
Hmmm... and maybe some ice cream too!

Beach tomorrow!!

Whoopee!!

And then this!!

Melbourne, here I come!!
Looking forward to our eat-as-we-bake-curry-puffs competition!!

P.S.: I never had so many exclaimation marks
in one single blog entry before.
Does goes to show something, no?

Mackie's really gone insane.
And she's extremely delighted that she has indeed went bonkers.
Which makes her even more loony.
Don't think she's gonna do anything about it though.
At least not for the next seven days.

*hops around in a little dance*
*again*

2007-11-11T00:23:00.000+11:00

A Special Dedication On A Very Special Day

"Keep Holding On"

You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side
You know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No, I won't give in

Keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

So far away
I wish you were here
Before it's too late
This could all disappear
Before the doors close
And it comes to an end
With you by my side
I will fight and defend
I'll fight and defend

Keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

Hear me when I say
When I say I believe
Nothing's gonna change
Nothing's gonna change destiny
Whatever's meant to be
Will work out perfectly

Keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through
Just stay strong
Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you
There's nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through

JM,

If it wasn't for all that you tried to do,
I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through.
Cause it made me that much stronger,
Made me work that little bit harder.
It made me so much wiser,
So thanks for making me a fighter.

I wouldn't be who I am today,
If not for you.
Thank you for making me,
A better me.

Loves.

2007-11-09T02:42:00.000+11:00

Life is a sparkling flower,
But someday it will fall like a crumbling tower.
The stars are certainly shining bright,
For there's a new angel in Heaven tonight.

Goodbye my dear friend, with love through this.
I pray that you are now at peace.

2007-11-07T18:27:00.000+11:00

You have no idea how much that meant to me.

I can't thank you enough.

"I'll do my best to make it better..."

2007-10-31T14:56:00.000+11:00

When black cats prowl,

And pumpkins gleam,

May luck be yours this Halloween.

I ought to go trick-treating for some spooky delights tonight.

Am literally a walking zombie now after all.

Time to get into the "spirits" of things (pardon the pun)..
Let's eat, drink and be scary!

@ @
^^^^

2007-10-29T18:43:00.000+11:00

Can you reminiscence about something that didn't happen?

It keeps ringing in my head,
And I can't drown it out.

Maybe it's because you don't want to, Mac.
Or rather, you won't allow it to.

Argh..
Now I even have an imaginary friend.
Dammit.

Must be the effects of the ventolin.
It gotta be.

I need a hug..
A really tight hug.

2007-10-28T11:28:00.000+11:00

Feeling a little under the weather.
Sigh.
Not again...
And with the deadline in a week?
Tsk.

*loads up on ventolin*

2007-10-25T10:32:00.000+10:00

"You can complain that roses have thorns.
Or you can rejoice that thorns have roses."

I will opt to be a thorn.

Because happiness is a conscious choice.
It is not an automated response.
Anymore.

=)

2007-10-23T04:59:00.000+10:00

I used to think as long as those around me are happy,
I will be too.
And it was all that matters.
But I've catched on that this shouldn't be the way.
I first have to be happy myself.

Because if I can't be happy myself,
how can I bring happiness to the people I love?

It's time to right this wrong.

Meet the new precept in my life:

Germac is now a proud ambassador of

She has only two kinds of days - happy,
and hysterically happy.

2007-10-16T00:27:00.000+10:00

You may not be able to pull me up,
But I know you'll still try all means not to let me fall.

Have not laughed this heartily for as long as I could remember.

Thank you so much. *hugz*

The old smiley macky will be back.
Soon enough.

2007-10-15T05:56:00.000+10:00

Into each life, a little rain must fall.
But there's always a silver lining.
If not, better.
A rainbow.

And it is getting brighter.
Slowly, but definitely.

2007-10-14T10:07:00.000+10:00

"Blind"

I was young
But I wasn't naive
I watched helpless
As he turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like it was before
But nights like this
It seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

After all this, why
Would you ever wanna leave it
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you will ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

2007-10-11T04:10:00.000+10:00

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear

I've found out a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I've found out a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

The reason is you.

2007-09-30T00:53:00.001+10:00

Life doesn't make sense sometimes..

Perhaps that's why it keeps teaching me lessons I have no desire to learn.

2007-09-11T00:18:00.000+10:00

For you, dear..

"I thought sometime alone
Was what we really needed
You said this time would hurt more than it helps
But I couldn't see that
I thought it was the end
Of a beautiful story
And so I left the one I loved at home to be alone
And I tried to find out
If this one thing is true
That I'm nothing without you
I know better now
And I've had a change of heart

I'd rather have bad times with you,
Than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm,
Than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together,
Than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart

I can't blame you if you turn away from me,
Like I've done you,
I can only prove the things I say with time,
Please be mine"

You are really the One,
and all that I want.

2007-09-10T00:18:00.000+10:00

I chanced upon a math formula today.
I call it the 'Germac Principle' now.

Happiness = Reality/Expectations

All math equations can never be divided by zero,
but for you, and only for you,
I will make it happen.

I promise.

2007-09-10T00:13:00.000+10:00

I love you too baby, so very much..
And I need you more than anything.
Because nothing else matters,
Without you here by me.

2007-08-26T03:08:00.000+10:00

On a happier note today:
Bud bud is thriving.
(even though I do not talk to it)
Look how much taller it has grown.

And it even blossomed a fellow new shoot to boot.

Am wondering what I should do with it when I leave. Hmmmm..

Anyhoos, I had another delivery.
The receptionist made a funny when I went to pick it up.
"Somebody's very worried you are not eating dear.."
And she chuckled heartily.

I offered her one and she accepted the sugar rush with grinning pleasure.

Glad I could make someone's day.

Well, sorta. They ARE Krispy Kremes afterall, you know.

2007-08-24T06:00:00.000+10:00

没有谁能把你抢离我身旁
你是我的专属天使
唯我能独占

没有谁能取代你在我心上
拥有一个专属天使
我哪里还需要别的愿望

Took the words right outta my heart.

2007-08-23T02:12:00.000+10:00

I spoke to a long lost friend today.
And it made me realise something.

Some people have the power to change our lives -
even after they're no longer a part of it.

Thank you for your listening ear,
and the lame attempts to make me laugh.

-Hugz-

2007-08-22T03:10:00.000+10:00

A smile (like this) confuses and mends an approaching frown.

Indeed. Absolutely indeed.

2007-08-21T02:57:00.000+10:00

If I were a cupcake,
What will I be?
Chocolate or vanilla,
Swirled marble maybe.

Heartfelt thanks.

2007-08-20T02:04:00.000+10:00

1 week down.

349521745338 weeks more to go..

2007-08-19T04:28:00.000+10:00

When I said I love you forever,
I lied..

For forever just ain't long enough.

We will make it work,
Because you hold my entire world.

In you is everything that I'm missing...

2007-08-18T00:36:00.000+10:00

"Live your dream,
It's not as hard as it may seem.
You gotta work to get the cream,
On your hopes, you must lean..

From your fears,
You have to win yourself.
It's all or nothing,
You gotta give your everything."

2007-08-15T01:23:00.000+10:00

- Alone -

Is there a more terrible word in the English language?

Sob..

2007-06-29T02:52:00.000+10:00

Mid pleasures and palaces though I may roam,
Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home...

Nothing can stop me now.

See you in 7 days!

Yippee!!

2007-06-26T03:32:00.000+10:00

My Daddy

My Dad is a person

who is loving and kind,

And often he knows

what I have on my mind.

He's someone who listens,

suggests, and defends.

My dad is one of my very best friends.

He's proud of my triumphs,

but when things go wrong,

My dad is patient

and helpful and strong.

In all that I do,

my dad's love plays a part.

There's always a place for him

deep in my heart.

And each year that passes,

I'm even more glad,

more grateful and proud

Just to call him my ever beloved dad.

Thank you, Daddy...

for listening and caring,

for giving and sharing.

But, especially, for always making me happy.

I miss you, so very much...

2007-06-21T01:25:00.000+10:00

Wishes do come true!

*tickled pink*

=)

2007-06-17T22:08:00.000+10:00

Please stay,

Is all I can utter.

I am reduced to these soft words...

2007-06-07T03:47:00.000+10:00

My wishlist

Hermione's wand
Book of Spells in "Charmed"
The Genie from Aladdin's lamp
Powers of Hiro Nakamura in Heroes

Actually, what I really want is a time machine.
If all else fails, a self-chartered plane will do too.

Sigh.

The future isn't always something to anticipate.

2007-06-04T01:57:00.000+10:00

The Birthday Song - Corrinne May

Don't worry about that extra line
That's creeping up upon your face
It's just a part of nature's way
To say you've grown a little more
Trees have rings and thicker branches
Kids' shoes get a little tighter
Every year we're getting closer to who we're gonna be
It's time to celebrate the story of how you've come to be

Happy birthday my friend
Here's to all the years we've shared together
All the fun we've had
You're such a blessing
Such a joy in my life
May the good Lord bless you
And may all your dreams come true

So light a candle on your cake
For every smile you've helped create
For every heart and every soul
You've known to grow a little more
A few more pounds, a little more grey
Don't count the years just count the way
It takes a little time to go from water into wine
Don't ever lose the wonder of the child within your eyes

Happy birthday my friend
Here's to all the years we've shared together
All the fun we've had
It's such a blessing
Such a joy in my life
May the good Lord bless you
And may all your dreams come true

2007-06-03T01:12:00.000+10:00

Happy 24th!

Birthdays are the tolling of
A bell that marks the coming of
A time of festive joy and love,
A time to treasure life and birth.

Thank you for celebrating with me
The circumstance that makes me, me:
The moment when I came to be,
And what I now have come to be.

2007-05-31T05:07:00.000+10:00

Look who's here!

I am one lucky lucky princess.
Lalala~

*hops around in a little dance*

2007-05-29T04:12:00.000+10:00

One.
Two.
Three.

Three...
For the 3 wise men.

And the famous 3 Graces.

Including the iconic 3 Sisters in Oregon.

With the 3 rivers in Ireland.

And the astronomical Messier 3, a globular cluster of 500,000 stars.

Not forgetting the trilogies.in 3-dimensional effect.And of course, 3 cheers!

Plus 3 more days. *smirks*

Three. It's a magic number.

2007-05-27T07:30:00.000+10:00

one.
two.
three.
four.
five.

*teehee*

2007-05-14T15:52:00.000+10:00

Life is like a box of chocolates;
You never know what you gonna get.

I always get Turkish Delight,
and I hate it.

2007-05-13T05:35:00.000+10:00

Musings of a jam-packed week!

First up on the list:

Sure, it wasn't Zouk. But it felt awfully good to be surrounded by fellow countrymen and streams of Singlish accent. =)

Next, boardgames!

They were a bucketful of fun! Pure hilarious. Whoopee!

And yet again, another sleepover. Grins.

She ain't heavy. She's my sister. =)

My fair amigoes.

The guys let off some steam in a warehouse. It's soccer time!

Had my fair share of exercise too, mind you. At the bowling alley.

*smiles sheepishly*

Lovely-Mel with her new bangs, me, Vocab-of-a-million-Coral & darling Josie

Happy family. Happy happy me.

2007-05-13T03:39:00.000+10:00

The return of the condemned evil-doers. *shakes head in disapproval*

Hoodoo voodoo.
Make these extra calories disappear to Timbuktu.

Alakazee Alakazam.
Vamp me up to look like Nicole Kidman.

*zaps*

Yeah, dream on Germac. You wish.

Sigh, I need to start taking lessons from Hermione.
Next train to Hogwarts, pronto pls, pretty pls.

2007-05-08T06:52:00.000+10:00

Twirl me around like a spinning top.

Bring me on a carousel that never stops.

*beams*

2007-05-03T03:12:00.000+10:00

There is no such thing as a missed opportunity in life.
Because those you miss, other people will take.
Readily.

2007-04-27T03:04:00.000+10:00

Previously...
A special home delivery from the heart, with earnest gratitude and many thanks...
The two most darling kind of cakes; Strawberry Tiramisu and Mango Mochi.
Grab your fork!

A game of pool with the group, where I won Julius! Yeah, girl power!

The Chupa Chups family.

Had another pyjamas party last week, which lasted 6 days this time.

We played Cranium - the game for your whole brain, and my duo lost to solo Nan. It was mightily a one-man show and he had proclaimed us as Losers after which. Looks like we ain't that much of an egghead huh, Josie?

More movies! Finally caught Borat. Wasn't as credible as I had esteemed it to be.

Love overcomes all obstacles. Happily ever after!

Number Three:

Awe-inspiring. "I wanna grow old with you..."

Lastly,

"Romeo, Romeo... Where for art thou Romeo?" Couldn't quite catch the lingo, as I wasn't a big fan of literature in high school. Did geog for my humanities instead. Nan almost had to give me a play by play. But the show still aced out.

Whenever I'm around the guys, good food always awaits and wets my appetite.

Be my judge. =)

Cheese cake flown in all the way from Melbourne. Heavenly!

My first Laksa noodles in Sydney. Savory!

Also presenting:

From raw and fresh...

to steamed and served!

Peking Beef. Crisp and crunchy!

String beans and mincemeat - succulent!

Homecooked ABC soup by renowned Chef Goh. For run-down jojo and feeble me.
All the above are way better than these stock-upped instant consumables.

I'm gonna go bald, very very soon.Paid a visit to Nigel and Qing Qing's place. Say hi to baby schnauzer - Winter!

And not-so-baby-anymore Summer!

One peewee and pint-sized, the other all big and scruffy!

They are absolutely adorable,

and cuddly to the max!
Just finished this book recently. A page-turner in cert.

My newest addition to the collection:

Away from company and in solitude, I had entertained myself with school work, the tube (kindly donated by Jo and Nan Charity Garage), school work,

my laptop, school work, iTunes, school work, the bed, school work,

Archie comics, school work, computer monopoly, school work...

You get the idea.

Two weeks seem like an eternity. Geez, whatever happen to a twinkle of an eye, or in next to no time or simply put, time FLIES?

Will you just stop crawling by??!!

2007-04-16T00:17:00.000+10:00

Happy Convocation, Nan!

Jojo and I spared no time in stealing his limelight

and soaked ourselves liberally in it. =P

The buffet dinner at Parrots - The Stamford Grand marks the greatest fete of my stay in Sydney yet. Haven't sat at a table with different sets of cutlery facing me in a long while. Reckon the meal must have cost him a bomb and burnt both his pockets.

~Mega thanks for your huge generousity dude!

A seating for nineteen.

Wine buffet at A$16.95 per head. A night of carousing awaits, but none of us fell for this little temptation.

Food was mediocre and the cull was limited. But as the good ole cliche goes,

"it's the company that counts". =)

We had bread rolls,

a salad bar,

preserved olives and the likes,

some starters,

seafood (the oysters were a rinky-dink batch. bleah.),

deserts and the sweets,

and a choc fondue!

A pin-up of Nan and his beloved ones.

Pretty Phoebe. She got her little bro a laptop for his Hons. Lucky fella.

(Jie, where's mine?!)

He's a Borat-fanatic. I so gotta catch this show!

We had some fun with the vibrantly-colored helium balloons.

Okay, more like I did.

Brought home all twelve of them.

No one did the suck-in-the-air-and-sound-like-donald-duck antic though.

In toto, the regale was awesome en masse.

Congratulations, Mr NYD!

Drat. I've got seven more months, SEVEN more freaking months to that cert. Arghh.

It's gonna be a long and laborious journey...

*bows head in depression* Sigh.

2007-04-10T05:33:00.000+10:00

Photo collages with Josie darling

You have been a blessing, dear ger. Thank you for being a piece in my Sydney jigsaw of life. Hugz~

2007-04-10T04:53:00.000+10:00

My Good Friday

What better way to celebrate the holidays,
than a picnic

at glorious Glebe?

Was batting around the suburb aimlessly; we ended up taking goofy pics in a bookstore.

Behold. --> Nan, I knew it was all along in you. It's evidentiary now. Lol.

Josie the Grandma?

Next, a ride up North Head.

Pic of the day

Final Stop - Manly Beach

Ended off the prolific day with a steamy hot pot for din din. Yumz~

Compliments of Nan, Easter bunnies for all! Mine's the red.

Happy Easter everyone! With love...

2007-04-05T02:26:00.000+10:00

Grandma's asking for me. again. everyday.

sigh.

it's not spoken, but something has broken.

2007-04-03T18:06:00.000+10:00

Crashed out at Nan and Jo's humble nest over the weekend for a sleepover.

We all know what that means. Slumber party = Dvd marathon

Gruesome, gory, and imbrued with the blood of many grisly killings, 300 evokes not only the ancient battle against the Persians, but also the larger idea of fighting for freedom against all odds. It's intriguing and compelling how I kept on wanting to see more of those morbid scenes. Sadistic, perhaps? Nay, reckon it's more because of the beefy bods endorsed by the Spartans. They were definitely an eye candy. Drools. =)

Next on the line.
‘Thank You for Smoking’ is a movie about smoking in which no one is ever actually seen smoking. Lol. In my personal opinion, this film is neither pro- nor anti-smoking. To boot, I think that everyone concerned is either amoral, or a dolt, or an amoral dolt. Still, there's not a minute of this flick wasted. You go Aaron Eckhart; it takes an actor with a whole lot of charm to pull off this role and still be likeable on screen.

Sunday afternoon, after a hearty breaky of bacon, pancakes, hashbrowns and sunny-side-up eggs, we paid a visit to Woolloomooloo. (That was quite a mouthful.)

It is a harbourside suburb with Russell Crowe as a notable resident in one of the penthouses.

Located near the wharf is the popular fast-food stall and now tourist destination - Harry's Cafe de Wheels.
Their famous frankfurter
Mash that just melts in your mouth.

Adjoining to that, I finally got to see some sand and surf in Sydney.

Welcome to Bondi Beach!

It was a frosty day, but anytime is a good time for a sugar rush. Especially when it's chocolate ice-cream.

To quote Miss Congeniality: Close-up. Please meet "Bud Bud", my newly adopted family member.Now all I need is a couple of goldfish or guppies or tortoises. They would be a perfect match.

2007-04-03T04:09:00.000+10:00

Chow and grub,
Feed and fare.
All these pigging out and tummy rubs,
Has made Germac the twin of a pear.

Condemned evil-doer no. 1

Sashimi
Teriyaki Beef

Condemned evil-doer no. 2

Flavoursome chinese soup

Shandong Chicken

Condemned evil-doer no. 3

Garlic mushrooms

Ribeye

Full rack of ribs

Reality has finally hit,

Although the warning signs have long been lit.

I need to quit and start getting fit,

For it's really time to kill and slaughter those damn fatty shit.

(ok, I'll concede. There is not a single poetic cell in my whole entire body.)

2007-03-29T04:37:00.000+10:00

Little Weekend Getaway

Jacque had her convocation last Friday. Was alittle rueful that I didn't stay on in Melbourne last year for mine. Her family came along and I was blessed enough to tag along for their trip up to Hunter Valley, the Land of Vineyards and Winerys.

Was wholly mesmerized by the breathtaking and astounding panorama at their hotel room - World Towers. After the commemoration, we celebrated the red-letter day with a convocation dinner at a Chinese restaurant with Lobster Sashimi for starters. Post dinner programs included a merrymaking visit to Star City for a few rounds of Jackpots, Poker, BlackJack and Bacarrat.

Next day, up to Hunter. Caught this classic vintage Cadillac at the gas kiosk. Neat, huh?

The villa we're staying was a good 2 hours drive away from City. Along the run, I was accompanied by blue skies and marshmellowy clouds.

Conjointly, the haven functions as a country club for members to work on their handicap and putt a few golf shots too.

The patio in the manor was the most enchanting and luscious place. Love the nostalgic feel of the wooden tables and chairs.

First stop:

It had a horse carriage for interested visitors who would pay a fee to ride around the nearby precints in it. De nombreux wine bottles

Second Stop:

Massive pastures of greenery and herbage. A sight to behold.

The interior

Barrels and barrels of Shiraz, Merlot, Cabernet, Chardonnay, etc Wine tasting time

Third Stop:
The interior

The exterior

Caught this on our way back to the resort. So this is how precip looks like from afar. Liquidus sunshine...

After a big grocery shopping jaunt to Woolworths, a scrumptious and toothsome dinner awaits.

There was potato salad, coleslaw, mashed potato, fries, steak, grilled salmon, grilled chicken in mushroom and onion sauce, kebab, tandoori chicken and indo mee. I was so stuffed.

Day 2 - First stop

The interior

Second stop:

Rock Candy

Divine chocs for tasting.

And of course, those for sale.

So representational!

How comely!

Last Stop:

Jo, me and Jacq

The interior

Me, Jo and Nan

Jubilancy! (doubtlessly, after all that red sap. grins.)

Final reap - 65 wine bottles

Tired, yes I was. Missed home, sure I did, still. But oh, the buffoonery and horseplay of the adventure was already quite a bellyful on its own. Thanks Jacq, JL, Jo and Nan, for showing me that maybe, just maybe... "Sydney, isn't Shitney" after all. Hugz~

2007-03-27T23:37:00.000+10:00

Fishy-fish-fish!

Situated at Darling Harbour, Sydney Fish Market was a scene of fleets and vessels. The smell was however, as rancid as one could possibly fathom.

In cert, it was a seafood galore. Feast your eyes on the "exhibits"!

Cooked Tiger Prawns
Cooked Local Lobsters
Baby Octopus

Giant Octopus (irks!)

Scallops
Fishes of different assorts

Oysters (my fave!)

They were going for A$12 per dozen. Sweet, tangy and juicy... One word to sum it all up - yummylicious!

In close borders, there was a fruit emporium.

While I was being caught up in the dizzying array of wondrous colors, I decided to explore my artistic flair on these.

Lemons

Limes
Red Apples

Green apples

Oranges

Kiwis

Pretty awesome, yea? Bet they would make some decent postcards or desktop wallpapers. =)

2007-03-26T14:32:00.000+10:00

The day at the Zoo

2007-03-25T22:06:00.000+10:00

Mum's here!Yes, I am awfully ecstatic that she's here. Even though her snoring kept me up in the night, I'm still mirthful I have someone to share my bed and snatch the bathroom with.

Look what I saw at the airport when I went to pick her up. Screams~

They are absolutely enticing to the tastebuds, I tell ya. I can gobble down 2 glazed originals in a haste.

Brought my mum to have gelato ice-cream in Newtown. She's obviously enjoying it, with these to consort too, over the next few days.

Hoochie Mama's Big Breaky Beef Sirloin in Peppered Mushroom Sauce
The week's agenda during her stay down under:

Day 1 - Newtown

Day 2 - Taronga Zoo

Day 3 - Direct Factory Outlets (DFO)

Day 4 - Sydney Fish Market

and Chinatown

where she had her first portrait entrancingly done!

Day 5 - Pitt Street Mall & Queen Victoria Building (QVB)
She flew back on Day 6 with an extra suitcase of chocolates, apparels, shoes and some local products. That's my mum for you, grins, and I simply love her to the bits.

2007-03-10T19:42:00.000+11:00

Hooray! *jumps in elation*

My polymate, Xiaowei, is right here in Sydney too! (kudos to Eric for the tip-off on MSN. I owe u one!) Am absolutely thrilled when she called my mobile this morn around 11am. Havin slept at the break of dawn, I was, of course, caught in a groggy state. But I sure perked up when I realized it was her. That, in cert, directs to the notion - "I am not alone in a foreign island anymore!!". She's here to do a graduate diploma in midwifery and her cousin's pursuing post-grad accountancy in U Syd too.

Mulling over Xiaowei definitely rekindled and jolted some memories of those heart-felt times in Sri Lanka spent with the tsunami victims in 2005. We were there on a youth expedition project to help build a new educational centre for children as well as give out health packs to those affected by the disaster. I was on the logistics team, and we had to pack heaps and mountains of hygiene props ranging from mosquito nets to nail clippers and toilet paper. Milk and biscuits were also given out to school kids on a daily basis and first-aid classes were taught to the teachers too. It was definitely laborious and no picnic, but overall, the entire experience was something I wouldn't trade anything for.

Anyway, guess where we went for a meet-up today ?

Direct Factory Outlets (DFO)!!
The mall wasn't as super colossal as I thought it would be, considering it's the only one in Sydney, but it's still ample for a few hours of shop-till-you drop!
Peace... and Attack!

To all Sheridan Lovers, come meet your nuzzle nestle dreamland here!
Consequently, it was a fun time spent with the two lovelies!

Check out Sydney's CityRail!

-The Sheltered-

-In The Open-
Notably...

it's double-decked too! how cool!

Allow me to introduce my new-found best friend.
And its adjacent partner-in-crime.
Goodbye my ever beloved chicken rice, for now. No one can, and ever will, snatch away your enviable throne. *Pinkie swear*

Welcome to Sydney, not?

2007-03-08T22:23:00.000+11:00

Welcome to Sydney, not?

Déjà vu – the illusion of having previously experienced something actually being encountered for the first time. Ok, maybe not for the first time in my situation but it still works. Thought I would never see this phase entering my life once again but it did. It’s really happening.

So I guess it’s Adios Singapore and Bonjour Sydney.

I’ve more or less settled down in my new studio apartment, considering it’s only Day 2. The abode is actually twice as big as the one I previously had in Melbourne, though not as well-equipped. It does have the basic necessities as showned above and my own attached bathroom. No air-conditioner’s provided this time, but there’s a ceiling fan which is already quite sufficient. Of course, it does have its downsides.
· I can’t cook – no kitchen stove is available here, unlike the one in Melb. Hence it’s microwavable meals and instant noodles for now.
· There is no TV!!
· There is no central heating system too. Just hope it doesn’t get too freezing cold during winter.
· It’s located at the outskirts of the city area. I don’t even know how to get to Central yet.
· Laundromat is within walking distance but less convenient than before.
· Internet is pay-as-you-surf and there is no package on unlimited usage. I reckon I’d be forking out a fortune on data connection.
· Rent is a whooping A$1200/mth!! That’s 4/5 of my allowance from MOH. Grumbles.

The ups:
· it has a queen sized bed – more room for rolling, hither and thither
· it’s a corner dwelling and faces the main road
· its wardrobe is enormous - have yet to get hangers

Overall, it’s actually pretty decent and apt for one person.

Went to school yesterday to meet the lecturer who will be supervising my research proposal. Am simply overwhelmed by the tremendous workload and expectations. I have to get ethics approval for my research question and trust me, this process is no effortless task. I also have to do so much reading; I’ll probably end up with severe myopia. Besides conducting interviews, attending seminars, giving presentations, and write a 5-6000 word literature review, I have to submit a final thesis worth 20,000 words. Is all this really deemed a possibility within such a limited time frame?? Sigh…

Needless to say, I miss home. Really miss home. Couldn’t help but whimper when I woke up in the middle of the night. Perhaps it’s the unfamiliarity of the surrounding and the lack of that recognizable “smell”.

I know I’ve said this, but I just wanna say it again. and again. and again.

I wanna go home.